The Problem of Privacy

Over the summer, I revisited an issue that I'd once put on the back burner, shoving it nervously away from the fore after making a resolution: When I have an impression of someone -- negative or not -- I will not just announce it to the person; I will store it away and try to forget about it.

Why? Though some people have asked if it's because I'm not working at the time and therefore wouldn't get paid for sharing the intuition, it's actually because of a sense of privacy that I avoid announcing my impressions. What right do I have to just intrude on what could very well be a private issue that isn't meant to be confided?

A friend of mine visited and told me that she and her husband had postponed plans to conceive a child. Immediately, I had the sense that she was already pregnant and the impression just got stronger.

When I received the news of the impending birth, I was overjoyed and confided my first impressions then. As it turns out, my friend would not have felt that her privacy was being invaded if I'd shared the intuition.

It's an issue with which I've struggled for some time.

Visiting Baby

Whenever I come down to my office, a ghost run across the floor directly above me. It happens each and every time!

It's the ghost of a child and the running is at full speed. I get the impression that he wants to see the baby.

Harmless, I know, but it makes me a little uncomfortable.

Update

I've really missed writing here. I just got so busy with my new daughter (Mimi) and my other daughter (Gigi) and . . . and . . . my recovery from surgery was, therefore, not going very well.

I've recently acquired a few novels about which I'd like to write here once I'm finished reading them and I will.

That's another feature that I've always intended to add to this blog: book reviews.

Also, I've received many questions by email and I will get to them all as soon as I can but there is a bit of a backlog...

It's nice to see that people still read even though I took a hiatus for my pregnancy.

Hiatus Over

OK, I'm back.

It's amazing to me that I'm always struggling to keep up with everything. While I wouldn't say that having two children is difficult, it does keep you extremely busy.

One day, I'll read again. One day, I'll write again. One day, maybe one day, I'll sleep again.

In the meantime, I've continued to book reading appointments into February 2008.

By the way, does anyone still read this blog???

Dear Ghostiegurl:

We have experimented with a kind of "game". It consisted of calling a soul which would give us answers, even predicting the future.

The alphabet, numbers from 0-9, yes/no, and goodbye were written on pieces of paper and put on the table forming a circle. A plastic glass with our fingers on it was being moved by that spirit to give us the answers.

I don`t know the name of this "game" but it used to be very exact in giving answers about the past. I would like to know the name of this game and if it is dangerous. I heard some people who tried it lost some family members. It might have been a coincidence or maybe not.........Please give me some answers.

Answer:

You're talking about a handmade version of the talking board, a method of divination/spirit communication that dates back to ancient times.

It is believed to be an easy way of establishing a connection with the ghost world, especially for people who aren't naturally aware of such a connection. In the 19th century, fascination with the spirit world and communication therewith grew--in the form of the spiritualism movement--and some now-famous people got swept up in what was essentially considered a parlour pastime.

It was popularized in the 19th century but it was marketed in the early 20th century in the most recognizable form of a board-and-planchette game by Kennard Novelty Company and William Fuld's company, to name a couple. Parker Brothers acquired William Fuld's company in the 1960s and produced "The Ouija Board". (Since 1999, it has been a very different-looking product.) There are other companies that produced talking boards under different names and, today, different religious groups have other names for it.

Beliefs about talking boards run to both ends of the spectrum: some believe that it's not a game, that it's very dangerous. In a religious context, it has been labelled "an instrument of the devil" or the playground of demons. At the other end of the spectrum, some people believe that the planchette or message indicator is moved, subconsciously or consciously, by one or more of the participants in the game and that the predictions/answers are actually an expression of the participant's or participants' subconscious.

There is a good collection of literature on the subject of the talking board, each piece detailing anecdotes or techniques or warnings. Perhaps the most famous is the early-20th-century tale of Patience Worth; she was believed to be a spirit--apparently contacted by Pearl Lenore Curran --who produced poetry and novels.

Whether or not to use a talking board is, of course, a personal decision and I, personally, don't like them and don't advocate their use. Why? Because I believe that ghosts are everywhere and those that wish to help us are already doing so.

Many people report false information, vulgar language and insults in their experience with talking boards while a very few relate positive experiences to me. In my years of providing readings to people, I have found that many people are very curious to use one but are afraid to do so. I have never received firsthand or even second-hand stories of injury or fatalities and I've read for hundreds of people.

Not Too Much Longer...

I'm near the end of my pregnancy now and I have even less of a lap on which to rest my computer than I did last week.

My pregnancy has been pretty difficult and posting regularly has been next to impossible. So, posting the many questions that I receive by email and answering them has been a good alternative.

Once the baby is born, I'll post more.

Dear Ghostiegurl:

This happened to me when I was five years old.

I´d been lying on my bed for a long time, and all of a sudden this glowing green human-shaped thing came in my room. He walked around for a while. When I tried to get up and run away, he walked right to the bed, sat next to me and tried to touch me or something like that but disappeared.

I want to know if that was real, or at least if it could have happened. My mother and grandmother both can see dead people and all that stuff.

Thanks.

Answer:

Green seems to be a common colour when it comes to the orb that you sometimes see before a figure appears, in my experience at least. You saw the residual green glow of the orb as the figure became more strongly human-looking, though you didn't see the original orb itself.

I believe that a spirit guide was reaching out to you to let you know that he was looking out for you.

Dear Ghostiegurl:

. . . I'm hoping you can offer me some quick advice regarding my infant and the other inhabitants of my 112-year-old house.

Since my husband moved in early last year, there's been an energy shift in my house -I can no longer sense "the others" as strongly as I used to, perhaps due to the distraction of another living being within the walls. It's been such a whirlwind year with the wedding, pregnancy and birth of my daugther that I hadn't given the ghosts a second thought. But in the past few days even my husband is beginning to notice unusual things in the baby's room - closet door opening by itself, objects having been moved, baby following something with her eyes or staring at "nothing".

As I become more aware of things in her room, my senses seem to be awakening to where I can feel a stronger presence throughout the house. After having my house cleansed a few years ago due to some problems with negative energy, I haven't had any worries about lingering entities (I get a little creeped out by the thought of them at all to be honest and would rather NOT know they are there). But, now with a baby in the house and memories of scary dealings of my own when I was a small child, I worry that the ghosts may cause her fear or confusion. It could be why she mysteriously wakes up for long stretches between 2 and 4 am and seems a little too wide-eyed for a baby who had just been sleeping peacefully.

I'd prefer none of us had any interaction with or awareness of them - but since that's not possible, what can I do to protect my baby from any potential negativity or disturbances? I don't want to call in some big "ghost hunting" team since the matter does cause me a fair amount of fear and I prefer to be blissfully ignorant as to how many others I share my home with. I prefer to discuss the matter with someone who can help reduce my own fear and provide me some tips on how to protect the most important life force in my world.

Thanks in advance for any advice you may be able to offer. Best wishes for the rest of your pregancy.

Answer:

I think that fear is an understandable, instinctive response to the unknown but I believe that it can be overcome. Unless they're around specifically to help you, ghosts usually have little interest in your life. It just so happens that babies and small children are extraordinarily sensitive to that part of our existence and often see what adults cannot detect. (Sometimes, invisible friends are only invisible to adults!)

As regular readers already know (and I do think that I should repeat it here), I usually try to help people become more comfortable with their usually-unseen guests. After all, it's my opinion that there are ghosts everywhere and that all homes have ghosts.

If your daughter sees that you're afraid, she'll likely fear ghosts, too; if you discuss the fear with her and help her to know that it's normal but not necessary, she'll grow comfortable. If you're able to do it, an open dialogue about her experiences as she grows -- i.e., normalizing the experiences -- would actually help her to retain the ability to detect ghosts throughout her life.

I believe that we all have 'spirit' guides -- ghosts that come around us to help us and watch over us.

You're clearly uncomfortable, however, with the idea that ghosts may be around your baby, so assure yourself that you can ask ghosts to leave and you may also simply set boundaries: no entering this or that room, no being around while you're around, stay away from baby, etc. You can set these boundaries simply by announcing them aloud. You do not need a "ghost hunting" team to come into your home or a psychic to come into your home in order to do this.

At any rate, please keep me posted.

Dear Ghostiegurl:

I was wondering do you see souls that have passed or do you only have weird things happen to you? I have had weird things happen to me all my life. It started when I was young seeing what I call 'shadow people' in homes or in the yards. Now that I'm older not only do I see shadow people but I also see people walking through my home, running in my yard.

It used to not upset me until they started to look more mutilated... I've asked them to leave but they never seem to go away. It's not always the same person either. I worked at a dentist office and in one room the lights would flicker; and, when I was there by myself the radio would turn on by its self and the creepy thing would be it was unplugged. No matter what station it was on it would play 'oldies but goldies'. I even have pictures of me at this job that the dentist took and there's reddish orange blobs around me. I'm from Ms and when I try to ask any one about what has happened, they always change the subject. I feel that i'm going kind of nutty, can you give any help?

Answer:

I've always seen/had ghosts around me and I've always had premonitions, precognitions, etc. happen to me. I've never seen "mutilated" ghosts at all. I don't know what to make of that. I grew up around ghosts and became quite comfortable as did my entire family-of-origin.

In all the investigations that I've done, I've advised people that it's better to learn to live with the ghosts and become comfortable with them. I just don't believe in rituals designed to get ghosts to leave. If the situation is uncomfortable, or if you live in constant fear, you may try to ask again. Or, you may simply ask them not to appear while you're around. If they're aware of you at all, in my experience, they usually listen. If they don't seem aware of you at all, ever, then you may just be getting impressions of the past instead of seeing actual ghosts.

In my experience, some ghosts use electrical appliances such as lights, tv, telephone and radio in order to make themselves known.

As you've no doubt experienced, it's not possible to talk about ghosts or psychic phenomena with everyone; in fact, many people are either too frightened, too skeptical, or too quick to judge someone as mentally ill. This kind of conversation can be liberating, so I hope you have or find some kindred friends and I'm glad that you wrote.

--Ghostiegurl

Catch Up

I can't believe how many people have already booked appointments for exactly one year from now.

One of the clients who booked said, "You're really popular."

It kind of makes me feel pressured to resume readings but, as my husband points out, I could always cancel the appointments and tell people that I won't be giving readings anymore.

Then, again, I may really want to do readings at that point. We'll see. . .

Through the fog that pregnancy has induced around my brain, I'm still able to see some things. Actually, I'm intuiting.

It's a close relative's new boyfriend. I don't trust him. I can't even bring myself to meet him. There's something not right there . . . This close relative -- close in the sense that we speak often -- can't understand my reluctance.

I've told her of my impression in this respect but she disagrees, even though I predicted his arrival in her life a couple of months before he actually appeared.

Just Moments Ago...

Gigi was lying down for her nap and I could hear from downstairs that she was finally silent.

As I started to allow myself to drift off, a sudden, loud bang startled me. I called up to Gigi and she was OK. (I almost ran upstairs but I'm not able to do this very quickly since I'm 6+ months pregnant. It was actually quicker to glean information from communication.)

"What was that noise?"
"I don't know."
"Was it in Mummy's bedroom or your bedroom?"
"My bedroom."
"You don't know what happened?"
"No, but Arthur [her talking doll] started talking very loudly and it woke me up."
"OK, where's Arthur now?"
"In my hand."
"Take him back to bed and go for a nap."
"OK, Mummy."

She was unfazed. I didn't want to alarm her by suggesting that anything bad or scary had happened. I still don't know what made that loud bang.

Update

I'm taking time off from readings to have my baby and then to care for my baby. I'm giving readings to the last clients over the next month-and-a-half. I've announced that I'll be back next year but, honestly, I don't know if I will be.

I'm tired of giving readings now. I think I'm burnt out again. I read an article in New York Magazine that described being burnt out as a battery that no longer holds its charge. That's how I feel.

I will continue to write here about my experiences -- and more frequently than has been usual--and, probably, I will give readings once I've had my baby.

A Bad Day

It has been difficult to write for the past few months since I use a laptop and it's no longer possible to keep it on my lap.

At any rate, I couldn't fail to write about what happened early this evening as my Gigi and I waited for Scully to return home.

I was in the living room when she started crying, wailing even. She yelled something about not wanting to be alone.

I ran up the stairs to find tears streaming down her face. She was saying that nobody was around. When I asked her what was the matter, she told me that her television had come on by itself and it scared her.

The television was now off. Her VCR was mysteriously rewinding a tape. She can't reach the VCR and we hadn't had a movie in the machine at all today.

I scooped her up and we sat at the top of the stairs together.

"I need to sit and just calm down, Mummy."

She explained again what happened as I comforted her.

I turned to the room and said sternly:

"You leave my daughter alone. If you cannot stop scaring my child, you are not welcome here."

Gigi was visibly relieved.

The Pregnant Psychic

The day before I even thought of testing for pregnancy, we went to pick up my daughter from school.

In the parking lot, as I was holding onto her hand, she declared:

"I'm going to be a big sister!"

No kidding.

The Helpful Wife

Scully tromped through the wilderness with his friends over the weekend, canoeing an hour-and-a-half to his campsite. He was completely out of reach of cellphones and email.

On the way home, he called me from a payphone:

"I should be home within a few hours."

"OK. Wait...I have an impression." A terrifying image followed a mental picture of my husband but I knew that he would be fine.

"There's going to be a very bad accident on the way back but it doesn't involve you or your friends."

"It already happened. A car was half-submerged in the lake."

"Oh. OK." It didn't feel like the accident I was talking about, but, hey, how could I be sure?

When he got home that evening, he told me: "Some guy decided to walk out into traffic... It was a huge accident! Cars piled up, etc." This happened after talking to me.

I honestly don't know why some people think that crossing a highway is, well, even possible. But, there you have it, someone did and the consequent mess delayed Scully's arrival by about two hours.

On The Phone

I'd been telling my sister for the past few months that her best friend had something wrong with her stomach. Something wasn't right.

Last week, the doctor found something: a bacterial infection.

"You were right," my sister said.

Nice

When clients take the time to tell me how my predictions turned out, I always appreciate it. I mean, people usually just tell other people which -- don't get me wrong -- is a good thing.

I recently helped a client get in touch with a long-lost relative by giving her the name of someone who knew where he was and in which city he could be found. She wrote to tell me that it all played out exactly as I said it would, names and all, and that she was now in touch with the relative.

She was so grateful. I felt all . . . I don't know, just so happy that I could help.

All Apologies

My absence is inexcusable. I've just been busy both personally and professionally. Still, I should have popped in at least once before now.

Stresses have piled up on top of me and, when that happens, I end up feeling disinclined to write. I should write.

Well, the other day, my daughter and I went to the local bookstore and bought a few interesting titles. Eva Ibbotson's The Beasts of Clawstone Castle caught my eye:

When Madlyn and Rollo are sent to ancient Clawstone Castle they fell in love with it --- especially with the mysterious white creatures that roam the grounds. But the owners are practically penniless and the castle is crumbling away. A magnificent money-making plan is Clawstone's only hope.

Helped by a gang of hilarious ghosts -- including a one-eyed skeleton, a sawn-in-half circus girl and a pair of dancing feet -- the children turn Clawstone into a genuine haunted house! Soon the money is rolling in, but just as things start looking up a terrible fate befalls the beasts. Madlyn, Rollo and their phantom friends now face some very sinister enemies...

We have thousands of children's books and I shouldn't be buying anymore right now but, then, I decided that it would be a good addition.

MacMillan Children's Books
Trade Paperback
London (2005)
232 pp

Note:
The Sunday Times
May 15, 2005
Children's book of the week

This weekend

We went to a festival specifically meant for children. There were many activities/stations for preschoolers including a mat full of 'gymboree' toys. Gigi was unimpressed.

She played in a tiny pool filled with toys. She sat at a table and played with an Etch-a-Sketch-like toy. Finally, there was a travelling caravan comprised of instruments which she loved and which was the source of a tantrum.

The sky threatened rain the entire time. So, we headed off to grab hotdogs and make the 10-minute walk back to the car.

My Lips Are Sealed

You know my ethical guideline about not discussing clients or the details of the sessions when clients come to see me?

Sometimes, I really wish I could. But, I can't.

Friday went very well. I know that I have to confirm my next batch of clients now...