Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve, after everyone had just settled, I was alone in the living room. I scrolled through the music on our television/media centre and decided on Anne-Sophie Mutter's Beethoven pieces.

Within a second, I heard the Christmas tree behind me: it sounded as if it was shaking. I looked behind me and saw a single decorative bulb swinging wildly on the bottom branch and this was obviously the source of the noise. The bulb was swinging but ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER part of the tree -- including the branches -- was moving in even the smallest way.

As I sat there staring at the swinging bulb, it stopped just as suddenly as it had begun, but it wasn't a gradual loss of momentum: it simply stopped.

Immediately after it stopped, the same rattling sound came from beside me and in front of the sofa: I looked and saw that a frame on the mantlepiece had slid down and its picture -- of my grandmother as a girl and which had already had the word "me" written in her own hand just above her image -- had slipped out the top of the frame.

It was nice to know that my maternal grandmother was with me for the holiday.

Just how dumb am I?

I recently posted elsewhere about my daughter's frequent discussion of "the witch":

"That's the witches' forest." She pointed to the sideyard of a smallish mansion on the way to school.
"Oh, it's very pretty."
"No, it's scary."

She's been talking a lot about witches lately.

The other day:

"I locked the witch in my room."
"You did?"
"Yes. That way, she can't come out and talk to me."

I hadn't known that she was having trouble with witches.

I was rather glib about what I'd assumed -- despite my (gulp) intuition -- to be the flight of her imagination.

Recently, when I thought about it, it occurred to me that my four-year-old hadn't had the same lilt in her voice as she does when she's making believe. So, at dinner time last evening, I casually approached the subject:

"You mentioned before that there's a witch in your room . . ."

"Yes. But she's trapped."

"She is?"

"Yes. She always says, 'Ah, let me out'."

"Oh. I see. Is she a witch or a ghost?"

"She wears a witch costume."

"She comes to play with me. She doesn't share. She hits and throws toys."

"Do you like it when she comes to play?"

"No," she said quite seriously. "She disturbs me."

"She does?"

"Yes. She always sleeps on my bed. In the mornings."

"Does that bother you?"

"No."

"Oh, that's good."

"It just scares me."

"Does she speak to you?"

"Yes, she always calls me."

"Did you first see her before Halloween or after?"

"Before."

"What's her name?"

"It's a 'Sah, sah, sah' [sounding out an 'S'] sound..."

"Like Cecilia...Sarah?"

"It's Sarah!!" She was happy that I'd guessed it.

More today:

"Is she big like Mummy or small like you?" I asked her while we cuddled this morning.

"Small like me."

"Did she ask you not to tell your Mummy and Daddy that she comes to play?"

"Yes," she said, almost embarrassed. "But I said, 'I have to'."

"Wow. You did the right thing." I kissed her cheek. "You tell Mummy and Daddy everything. No secrets."

I had to follow up with the "witch's forest".

"You said that it was the witch's forest yesterday, when we walked to school."

"Yes, Mummy. That's where she lives. Wait, I think I hear her...Oh, no. That's just the baby."

She's told us more about "the witch"--whom she thinks is about two years old--voluntarily and when questioned. Some of it:

"She didn't go out trick-or-treating."

"She didn't?"

"No. She was too late [when she came over]."

Wow. I made such a common mistake, one that I've often warned clients about: I assumed my daughter was 'making up' a friend or a character and she was actually talking about a ghost.

Shame on me!

A fitting Hallowe'en post

Today, something very unusual happened. I lay the baby in her cot beside my bed and left to wash her bottles. From the kitchen downstairs, I could hear her laughing uproariously. She wasn't giggling or babbling as she normally would: She was laughing heartily and squealing with delight. And it was LOUD.

I walked upstairs and her behaviour continued. The temperature, I noted, had fallen in the room. I got the impression that someone -- someone I don't know -- was around her. She was "looking" at something during all this. When my husband came up -- at my request -- he was as surprised as I was. He noted that it was cold in the room and, the scientist that he is, chalked it up to wind coming through the closed window (it holds the air conditioner, so that's a plausible guess.)

"I think a relative from your father's side is around her," I told him.

"Could be," he shrugged.

Moments after he left, the room warmed up and the baby stopped laughing. All the while, a name had been floating around my head. I ran out of the room, down the stairs and straight to the basement.

"Did you have a relative named Mary Margaret on your father's side?" I'd never looked at his genealogy project.

"Yes...I think she was his great aunt."

"That's who is around her."

Catching up a bit...

Strange things have been happening lately. Besides the usual, that is.

Last evening, I noticed that my husband had placed a newly-received wedding photo of his parents on the mantlepiece. Well, it didn't really fit in with all the other frames in that area. My scheme is black-and-white and the photo is colour, 1950s; my frames are gold trimmed and the photo is framed with brown wood. So, I took it down from the mantlepiece and placed it on the radiator, face down.

Later tonight, as I went into the living room to grab my laptop, I looked above the fireplace: on the mantlepiece--the opposite side of the now removed photo--a double frame of my husband's paternal grandparents was (1) face down and (2) upside down. Clearly, it could not have simply fallen over: It would have had to have fallen and then turned around. It's possible someone is trying to tell me something.

Well, it's my living room and if one of his grandparents is upset, that's too bad! I haven't had any impressions of his grandparents, so I don't know...

Also, I hear 'Mummy' being called, extremely faintly, when anyone old enough to speak is actually out of the house. My baby is only 6 months old. It's happened at least twice a day but I haven't paid much attention to it. Maybe I should.

I keep seeing someone standing near the garage but it's only out of the corner of my eye. If I look there, the image is gone. Mostly, ghosts come in my dreams and my dreams have been a bit 'noisy' lately.

I remember when my older daughter was quite a bit younger, she used to talk about "Ollie", the little boy, who lived in the backyard in my turn-of-the-century potting shed. She doesn't talk about ghosts anymore.

My husband says he often thinks he sees our deceased cat on the stairs in the basement for a split second and, when he looks again, the image is gone.

When I was pregnant, we had plumbers come in to fix the pipes in the basement bathroom. My husband tells me that one of them pointblankly asked him: "Who's really into ghosts around here?"

To which my husband replied: "Oh, that's my wife. She's a well-known psychic."

I apologize for the delay in responding to the dozens of emails that I receive. With a new baby, it's hard to find spare time. I will get to them, tho'.

The Problem of Privacy

Over the summer, I revisited an issue that I'd once put on the back burner, shoving it nervously away from the fore after making a resolution: When I have an impression of someone -- negative or not -- I will not just announce it to the person; I will store it away and try to forget about it.

Why? Though some people have asked if it's because I'm not working at the time and therefore wouldn't get paid for sharing the intuition, it's actually because of a sense of privacy that I avoid announcing my impressions. What right do I have to just intrude on what could very well be a private issue that isn't meant to be confided?

A friend of mine visited and told me that she and her husband had postponed plans to conceive a child. Immediately, I had the sense that she was already pregnant and the impression just got stronger.

When I received the news of the impending birth, I was overjoyed and confided my first impressions then. As it turns out, my friend would not have felt that her privacy was being invaded if I'd shared the intuition.

It's an issue with which I've struggled for some time.

Visiting Baby

Whenever I come down to my office, a ghost run across the floor directly above me. It happens each and every time!

It's the ghost of a child and the running is at full speed. I get the impression that he wants to see the baby.

Harmless, I know, but it makes me a little uncomfortable.

Update

I've really missed writing here. I just got so busy with my new daughter (Mimi) and my other daughter (Gigi) and . . . and . . . my recovery from surgery was, therefore, not going very well.

I've recently acquired a few novels about which I'd like to write here once I'm finished reading them and I will.

That's another feature that I've always intended to add to this blog: book reviews.

Also, I've received many questions by email and I will get to them all as soon as I can but there is a bit of a backlog...

It's nice to see that people still read even though I took a hiatus for my pregnancy.

Hiatus Over

OK, I'm back.

It's amazing to me that I'm always struggling to keep up with everything. While I wouldn't say that having two children is difficult, it does keep you extremely busy.

One day, I'll read again. One day, I'll write again. One day, maybe one day, I'll sleep again.

In the meantime, I've continued to book reading appointments into February 2008.

By the way, does anyone still read this blog???

Dear Ghostiegurl:

We have experimented with a kind of "game". It consisted of calling a soul which would give us answers, even predicting the future.

The alphabet, numbers from 0-9, yes/no, and goodbye were written on pieces of paper and put on the table forming a circle. A plastic glass with our fingers on it was being moved by that spirit to give us the answers.

I don`t know the name of this "game" but it used to be very exact in giving answers about the past. I would like to know the name of this game and if it is dangerous. I heard some people who tried it lost some family members. It might have been a coincidence or maybe not.........Please give me some answers.

Answer:

You're talking about a handmade version of the talking board, a method of divination/spirit communication that dates back to ancient times.

It is believed to be an easy way of establishing a connection with the ghost world, especially for people who aren't naturally aware of such a connection. In the 19th century, fascination with the spirit world and communication therewith grew--in the form of the spiritualism movement--and some now-famous people got swept up in what was essentially considered a parlour pastime.

It was popularized in the 19th century but it was marketed in the early 20th century in the most recognizable form of a board-and-planchette game by Kennard Novelty Company and William Fuld's company, to name a couple. Parker Brothers acquired William Fuld's company in the 1960s and produced "The Ouija Board". (Since 1999, it has been a very different-looking product.) There are other companies that produced talking boards under different names and, today, different religious groups have other names for it.

Beliefs about talking boards run to both ends of the spectrum: some believe that it's not a game, that it's very dangerous. In a religious context, it has been labelled "an instrument of the devil" or the playground of demons. At the other end of the spectrum, some people believe that the planchette or message indicator is moved, subconsciously or consciously, by one or more of the participants in the game and that the predictions/answers are actually an expression of the participant's or participants' subconscious.

There is a good collection of literature on the subject of the talking board, each piece detailing anecdotes or techniques or warnings. Perhaps the most famous is the early-20th-century tale of Patience Worth; she was believed to be a spirit--apparently contacted by Pearl Lenore Curran --who produced poetry and novels.

Whether or not to use a talking board is, of course, a personal decision and I, personally, don't like them and don't advocate their use. Why? Because I believe that ghosts are everywhere and those that wish to help us are already doing so.

Many people report false information, vulgar language and insults in their experience with talking boards while a very few relate positive experiences to me. In my years of providing readings to people, I have found that many people are very curious to use one but are afraid to do so. I have never received firsthand or even second-hand stories of injury or fatalities and I've read for hundreds of people.

Not Too Much Longer...

I'm near the end of my pregnancy now and I have even less of a lap on which to rest my computer than I did last week.

My pregnancy has been pretty difficult and posting regularly has been next to impossible. So, posting the many questions that I receive by email and answering them has been a good alternative.

Once the baby is born, I'll post more.

Dear Ghostiegurl:

This happened to me when I was five years old.

I´d been lying on my bed for a long time, and all of a sudden this glowing green human-shaped thing came in my room. He walked around for a while. When I tried to get up and run away, he walked right to the bed, sat next to me and tried to touch me or something like that but disappeared.

I want to know if that was real, or at least if it could have happened. My mother and grandmother both can see dead people and all that stuff.

Thanks.

Answer:

Green seems to be a common colour when it comes to the orb that you sometimes see before a figure appears, in my experience at least. You saw the residual green glow of the orb as the figure became more strongly human-looking, though you didn't see the original orb itself.

I believe that a spirit guide was reaching out to you to let you know that he was looking out for you.

Dear Ghostiegurl:

. . . I'm hoping you can offer me some quick advice regarding my infant and the other inhabitants of my 112-year-old house.

Since my husband moved in early last year, there's been an energy shift in my house -I can no longer sense "the others" as strongly as I used to, perhaps due to the distraction of another living being within the walls. It's been such a whirlwind year with the wedding, pregnancy and birth of my daugther that I hadn't given the ghosts a second thought. But in the past few days even my husband is beginning to notice unusual things in the baby's room - closet door opening by itself, objects having been moved, baby following something with her eyes or staring at "nothing".

As I become more aware of things in her room, my senses seem to be awakening to where I can feel a stronger presence throughout the house. After having my house cleansed a few years ago due to some problems with negative energy, I haven't had any worries about lingering entities (I get a little creeped out by the thought of them at all to be honest and would rather NOT know they are there). But, now with a baby in the house and memories of scary dealings of my own when I was a small child, I worry that the ghosts may cause her fear or confusion. It could be why she mysteriously wakes up for long stretches between 2 and 4 am and seems a little too wide-eyed for a baby who had just been sleeping peacefully.

I'd prefer none of us had any interaction with or awareness of them - but since that's not possible, what can I do to protect my baby from any potential negativity or disturbances? I don't want to call in some big "ghost hunting" team since the matter does cause me a fair amount of fear and I prefer to be blissfully ignorant as to how many others I share my home with. I prefer to discuss the matter with someone who can help reduce my own fear and provide me some tips on how to protect the most important life force in my world.

Thanks in advance for any advice you may be able to offer. Best wishes for the rest of your pregancy.

Answer:

I think that fear is an understandable, instinctive response to the unknown but I believe that it can be overcome. Unless they're around specifically to help you, ghosts usually have little interest in your life. It just so happens that babies and small children are extraordinarily sensitive to that part of our existence and often see what adults cannot detect. (Sometimes, invisible friends are only invisible to adults!)

As regular readers already know (and I do think that I should repeat it here), I usually try to help people become more comfortable with their usually-unseen guests. After all, it's my opinion that there are ghosts everywhere and that all homes have ghosts.

If your daughter sees that you're afraid, she'll likely fear ghosts, too; if you discuss the fear with her and help her to know that it's normal but not necessary, she'll grow comfortable. If you're able to do it, an open dialogue about her experiences as she grows -- i.e., normalizing the experiences -- would actually help her to retain the ability to detect ghosts throughout her life.

I believe that we all have 'spirit' guides -- ghosts that come around us to help us and watch over us.

You're clearly uncomfortable, however, with the idea that ghosts may be around your baby, so assure yourself that you can ask ghosts to leave and you may also simply set boundaries: no entering this or that room, no being around while you're around, stay away from baby, etc. You can set these boundaries simply by announcing them aloud. You do not need a "ghost hunting" team to come into your home or a psychic to come into your home in order to do this.

At any rate, please keep me posted.

Dear Ghostiegurl:

I was wondering do you see souls that have passed or do you only have weird things happen to you? I have had weird things happen to me all my life. It started when I was young seeing what I call 'shadow people' in homes or in the yards. Now that I'm older not only do I see shadow people but I also see people walking through my home, running in my yard.

It used to not upset me until they started to look more mutilated... I've asked them to leave but they never seem to go away. It's not always the same person either. I worked at a dentist office and in one room the lights would flicker; and, when I was there by myself the radio would turn on by its self and the creepy thing would be it was unplugged. No matter what station it was on it would play 'oldies but goldies'. I even have pictures of me at this job that the dentist took and there's reddish orange blobs around me. I'm from Ms and when I try to ask any one about what has happened, they always change the subject. I feel that i'm going kind of nutty, can you give any help?

Answer:

I've always seen/had ghosts around me and I've always had premonitions, precognitions, etc. happen to me. I've never seen "mutilated" ghosts at all. I don't know what to make of that. I grew up around ghosts and became quite comfortable as did my entire family-of-origin.

In all the investigations that I've done, I've advised people that it's better to learn to live with the ghosts and become comfortable with them. I just don't believe in rituals designed to get ghosts to leave. If the situation is uncomfortable, or if you live in constant fear, you may try to ask again. Or, you may simply ask them not to appear while you're around. If they're aware of you at all, in my experience, they usually listen. If they don't seem aware of you at all, ever, then you may just be getting impressions of the past instead of seeing actual ghosts.

In my experience, some ghosts use electrical appliances such as lights, tv, telephone and radio in order to make themselves known.

As you've no doubt experienced, it's not possible to talk about ghosts or psychic phenomena with everyone; in fact, many people are either too frightened, too skeptical, or too quick to judge someone as mentally ill. This kind of conversation can be liberating, so I hope you have or find some kindred friends and I'm glad that you wrote.

--Ghostiegurl

Catch Up

I can't believe how many people have already booked appointments for exactly one year from now.

One of the clients who booked said, "You're really popular."

It kind of makes me feel pressured to resume readings but, as my husband points out, I could always cancel the appointments and tell people that I won't be giving readings anymore.

Then, again, I may really want to do readings at that point. We'll see. . .

Through the fog that pregnancy has induced around my brain, I'm still able to see some things. Actually, I'm intuiting.

It's a close relative's new boyfriend. I don't trust him. I can't even bring myself to meet him. There's something not right there . . . This close relative -- close in the sense that we speak often -- can't understand my reluctance.

I've told her of my impression in this respect but she disagrees, even though I predicted his arrival in her life a couple of months before he actually appeared.

Just Moments Ago...

Gigi was lying down for her nap and I could hear from downstairs that she was finally silent.

As I started to allow myself to drift off, a sudden, loud bang startled me. I called up to Gigi and she was OK. (I almost ran upstairs but I'm not able to do this very quickly since I'm 6+ months pregnant. It was actually quicker to glean information from communication.)

"What was that noise?"
"I don't know."
"Was it in Mummy's bedroom or your bedroom?"
"My bedroom."
"You don't know what happened?"
"No, but Arthur [her talking doll] started talking very loudly and it woke me up."
"OK, where's Arthur now?"
"In my hand."
"Take him back to bed and go for a nap."
"OK, Mummy."

She was unfazed. I didn't want to alarm her by suggesting that anything bad or scary had happened. I still don't know what made that loud bang.

Update

I'm taking time off from readings to have my baby and then to care for my baby. I'm giving readings to the last clients over the next month-and-a-half. I've announced that I'll be back next year but, honestly, I don't know if I will be.

I'm tired of giving readings now. I think I'm burnt out again. I read an article in New York Magazine that described being burnt out as a battery that no longer holds its charge. That's how I feel.

I will continue to write here about my experiences -- and more frequently than has been usual--and, probably, I will give readings once I've had my baby.